British English Listening Practice: I’m So Clumsy!
In this listening practice, you will learn some new and useful British English vocabulary and expression! It’s also quite a funny story about an accident I had when I was a teenager. I hope you enjoy it!
So I thought today we would do a bit of a listening practice. So we’re just going to listen to me talk a little bit. Feel free to sit back, relax, listen to my voice and analyse the way I speak and also enjoy the story.
But first of all, I want to talk about something called clumsiness. Or to be clumsy; because this is really related to the story I’m going to tell you.
So first of all, I am a very very very very clumsy person, I’m extremely clumsy…
To be clumsy essentially is to be the sort of person who has a lot of accidents. Lets say I’m sat, at a restaurant, as always in the restaurant, I’ve got a lovely glass of wine next to me, red wine, that’s my chosen alcoholic beverage. Maybe it’s just here on the table; I’m talking, and BANG! in the middle of the conversation, the red wine is all over the white tablecloth… everything is red now and I have ruined my date, or my… whatever it is that I’m doing… my meal. And probably have to pay some kind of fine to the restaurant for destroying their tablecloth… and this is what clumsiness is in its purest form. clumsiness is when we always have accidents, things always go wrong, maybe we’re not very good with our hands, they always end up knocking things over. To knock something over is to make something fall. We might smash things… imagine a glass, drop it on the floor, smashed!
Also, I’m not very good with my legs, I might fall over quite a lot, hit my knee on a door or walk into the bed, or hit my head on something. So this is what clumsiness is, and this is me.
I wanna tell you a little story about when I was about fourteen… I was in year eight in school and it was a very hot Summer day… it was lunch time / break time some people call it, where we have time out from lessons and we relax.
There was a place, where all of my friends used to sit and chill out, relax, talk, catch up with each other in a field, and there were lots of trees in this field. And me, being the person I was when I was a teenager, all I wanted to do was impress the girls, make them think I’m really cool, which im not.
I decided to climb a tree. So I climbed to the top of this tree, it took me a while. And when I got to the top of this tree, I shouted. I wanted everyone to see that I was at the top of this tree, so I shouted, I was right at the top of this tree – “look at me” and I fell.
And that was that! My wrists hit the ground and they were completely out of shape! Not the way they should be!
Quite obviously, they were broken, because I’d fallen from quite a high distance. Not only that, but I also landed flat on my nose and it was broken, there was blood everywhere; I was knocked out! To be knocked out means to be unconscious. so yes , I hit my head… my face so hard that I was knocked out, and the next think I knew, I was woken up in hospital with two broken wrists and a flat nose, and that’s probably why my nose is such a funny shape now
This really did affect me; it changed my year, I guess! I had six months off school because I could do nothing with my arms, I couldn’t write, I was stuck like a robot, for a long time. and my mum had to wash me in the bath because I couldn’t have a bath on my own… my mum had to wash me!
Even worse, my parents had to use the toilet paper on my bottom, yes that’s right, my parents had to wipe my ass for me! I never thought I would tell anyone this, and now im telling 20000 people, that my parents had to wipe my bottom for me when I was a teenager. which is really embarrassing. but this is what happened.
I wanna teach you a bit of vocabulary in this: clumsiness runs in my family, it runs in the family. if something runs in the family, it means its something that maybe happens to my dad – he’s always knocking glasses over at the table, always smashing plates by accident, dropping things; so, the same as me! It also happens to my sister, it also happened to my Grandad before he passed away, so its something that runs in the family… a lot of people in my family, it happens to them also, they also have this clumsy gene every day! It’s an everyday problem, its like a disease!
I actually think it’s quite an endearing thing. Endearing, its something that’s quite interesting about a person, its something different, its unique and I embrace it, now, I laugh about any incidents that happen to me.
the reason im telling this listening practice is because I actually want you to tell me: are you a clumsy person, does this happen to you? do you have any really interesting stories that you want to tell me about your clumsy experiences? Or are you a perfect person who never makes mistakes? ’cause I know there are some of you out there who are just lucky and not clumsy at all.
thank you very much for watching if you would like to book a Skype lesson with me, learn real british english, pronunciation, connected speech, expressions, everything! And become one of my friends, as well as a student of mine, feel free to go down below in the description box and book a Skype lesson with me, the first lesson is just £2